It was my RE exam and I was already nervous enough; I had burst into tears over my poor attempt at revising (I tried to recap but to no avail) and I entered the exam room (C7 Psychology) in the state of one approaching the gallows. The first question was easy, after that I just relaxed.
HOWEVER
The rather ancient looking invigilator decided to take the seat sideways on right in front of my desk! So close that every time he turned to gaze out of the window pondering on his meaningless existance, he'd kick me in my already painful knee caps as he had his legs crossed. Not only was this physical abuse particularly annoying, but the NOISE! Jeeeesus, the quieter he tried to be the louder he got!
It was a good ten minutes into the exam and I was just getting on with the rather straightforward 5 mark questions when this coffin-dodger of an invigilator started opening an envelope! He started by slowly tearing the corner but he realised that this was a particularly stubborn envelope that wasn't going to become unstuck without a considerable amount of ripping. So, presumably to avoid the noise of this envelope and cause disruption to the Religious Studies General Certificate of Secondary Education, he got out a bunch of keys from the inside pocket of his taupe jacket to aid him in the breaching of this stubborn bit of paper. Therefore, as well as the ripping of paper, we had the sound of chinking metal added to the din. It was UNBELIEVABLY distracting!
When he'd tucked away the contents of that envelope I thought it had all ended; I thought I might actually be finally allowed the concentration that would earn me that C grade GCSE in RE.... but I was wrong...
You know when you are in a quiet place such as, I don't know, a church for example and you REALLY need to clear your throat? You make that rough noise in the back of your throat with your mouth tightly closed so you don't make a noise don't you? I must tell you now that it is much more sensible to just cough loudly and then you won't need to for at least another half hour - it saves making all those stupid noises whilst you try and be as quiet as possible. Anyway, the Envelope Man had never been giving lessons in Coughing So As Not To Disrupt People by me so he wouldn't know that making stupid phlegmy noises all through the hour and 45 minute exam would cause more disruption than if he had just coughed properly! I had never been so irritated (or disgusted) in my entire history of examinations.
You probably think that I am overreacting about the whole paper and coughing thing but let me assure you that this was not the half of it. This man, this ancient balding man stood up and started... to.... sway. On the spot, back and forth did this annoying little man rock without stopping for thirty... five... seconds....
AAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!
It was irritating beyond belief! And what's more, he turned round! So that he was facing me!! And he was stood up!! So everytime I glanced up to stare into space whilst I thought about how best to put into words the Islamic teachings on Capital Punishment, all I could see was the crotch of this greasy, insignificant individual! It was infuriating.
The only good thing about the situation was that it allowed me to complain. My friend Conn assured me that "they are all complete retards, that is why they invigilate. None of them have a GCSE between them" to which I replied "why are they all old and dusty?" He explained that they were all retired people with too much spare time.
I now wish that in my English Paper 2 exam I had answered the question on writing to inform about something that concerns you on invigilators. I am concerned about the age restriction on them; you must be one hundred and twenty years old or more to become an invigilator. It conerns me because at this age, one's mental wellbeing is compromised by the defunction of the brain resulting in senility and the decrease in reliablility that and invigilator will do their job properly.
Rant over =] I LOVE STE! <3
